As we discuss in chapter I, the inconstant mind has great difficulty distinguish between past and present.
When couple repairs they rupture connection in the present day relationship, they simultaneously heel the trauma they felt as young children. They relationship to each other and the universe is restored.
This connection can have the power and quality associated with a spiritual experience. The relationship becomes a secret space, heel and the present, heel and past, hell the relation to the wool. It is also become very Clair to us that safety is the number one precondition for connection. Two people cannot connect if they defending themselves against a barrage of negativity or they live in fear of being abandoned by the partners.